Judy Garland is better looking I remembered or realized.

I don't fucking care anymore, trying is pointless when it only ends in failure over and over and over again. It's been so long since anyone has shown any interest in me, or anything about me, that I've forgotten what it's like. I wonder how long I could go without someone showing real or true interest in me. I don't remember the last time showed real interest in me, not even as a friend. I can . . .

I don't know why the fuck I keep hoping and dreaming, because it will never happen. My dreams will never be more than fantasies, but they won't ever become reality. It's not an option for me, no matter how much I dream.

I hate crying, cause I know that there won't be anyone there to comfort me. It's just a reminder of my loneliness, and how it will never go away. I am alone in a room full of people, and I'm tired of it. It's just a matter of waiting till I am too tired to try anymore, and then it will just be time to give up. Not worth it most days.

Ha! Fuck that shit. Life is nothing more than reminders of my past failures.

My cat has zits.

I remember every bad thing that has ever happened to me, but not the good things. I can remember every failure in great detail but would have a hard time remembering any good times. I hate my memory.

Congrats on the engagement, let's hope this will last longer than your last 3 engagements, or the time you were planning on moving to Ireland. Oh, and thanks, I'm glad I mean so little to your life that you won't make any time for me. It's obvious you don't care, and you don't want me around unless you need me. Thanks a lot, I'm really glad about that.